Strength noun \ˈstreŋ(k)th, ˈstren(t)th\
: the quality that allows someone to deal with problems in a determined and effective way.
9 days ago I lost my first born nephew. He was only 18. It was sudden and it was unexpected. Myself and my family are heartbroken. Nothing could of prepared us for that moment, for our tremendous loss.
It feels like it was just yesterday I got the devastating call informing me that my heart will no longer be full, ever again. It’s been 3 days since the service took place. I wrote the tribute for his service and while I was standing there in front of all our family and his friends, shaking uncontrollably and trying not to break down before I finished my talk, I felt for a brief second this rush of strength wash over me. I immediately felt my precious nephew’s love and this feeling that though mine and my families world has forever changed, and things seem like they will never be alright again, he wants us to try, and for that brief moment in time, my heart once again felt full.
Things will never be the same. I will never get to see my nephew get married or have beautiful children who look like him and my (hopefully one day) children will never get to play with their amazing uncle and that breaks my heart. But what I do know is that my nephew will always be with me and my family, my (one day) children may not ever get to play with their amazing uncle, but they will know they have a beautiful angel looking down on them, providing them courage and strength, just like he has done for me already. He will always be in our hearts, he will always be the strength we need to endure.
With that knowledge, and the belief I have that he is with my daddy in Heaven, I find the strength I need. Until we meet again, my forever angel, I miss you.
6.5.95 to 3.15.14
Gone Too Soon
My Forever Angel
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