Wow. Tomorrow is New Years Eve. 2015 is here. 2014 is gone.
2014 had good and bad, probably more bad, but a lot of good.
Don't worry, my next post will recap all the good and bad and also reveal my 2015 word of the year.
Right now, we will review last years word.
Below is my post/word from last year (prior blog) In red will be my comments.
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Embrace: to welcome and take advantage of something eagerly or willingly.
Here’s to embracing: Being Single. It’s been a little over a year and half since the ex and I split and it’s time to embrace that. It’s a natural human response to physically and emotionally want to be connected to someone and I’ve allowed myself to wallow in that thought process just a little bit too long. So here’s to embracing being single, to putting myself first for once, and to just take relationships as they come instead of seeking them out. I wouldn't say that I fully embraced this, though I have to give myself props. Being single is not easy. Let's face it, us humans need someone. It's a physical and emotional need and has been that way since cavemen existed. I can, however, say that I've got so much closer to putting myself first, to sharing exactly how I feel, to walking away from situations with guys that aren't in my best interest; and that's a good step.
Here’s to embracing: Change. I hate that word; hearing it literally makes me want to stuff my face with chocolate to console myself. Why? To be honest, I don’t really know, all I do know is that I have always thought of change as bad. I like being comfortable and content, even if that means I am not fully getting what I want, but this year I will embrace change and not perceive it so negatively, because change CAN be good and it will. Change. I still struggle with it, but man I think I embraced it pretty well. I moved back to the valley, got my own apartment, finally enrolled in grad school (5 months so far!) Lots of changes took place; good and bad. Here's to continuing to embrace this.
Here’s to embracing: Myself. Physically and Emotionally. Sure I have bigger love handles that I want and my emotions can be completely out of whack, but this is me. This is who I am and it’s about time I start accepting that. This is a process. I go back and forth on acceptance and rejection of myself, but I took a big step to finding a new therapist to continue to work on issues I have and though I am certain it'll be hard to hash it all out again, I know it is what is needed. For myself.
Here’s to embracing: My Past/Childhood. This is something I struggle with still. I didn’t have anywhere near the ideal childhood and a lot of crappy things happened that never should have. I struggle with it. It makes me angry, frustrated, resentful and sad when I think of these things. I dwell on them to an extreme sometimes. I know, just as well as everyone else, that our past cannot be changed, but what can be changed is our future and I cannot shape my future the way I want to without embracing (and letting go) of my past and what has happened to me. See above.
Here’s to embracing: Positivity. Even though people would describe me as a positive person, I feel that I am pessimistic. I try to be positive, but it really does not come natural to me and I actually have to work hard to be positive. Lately, and specially when I am feeling down, I feel myself being even more pessimistic… about everything around me. I want to be more positive. Sure life has it’s ugliness, but it also has so much beauty and I want to be able to embrace that beauty and be more positive daily. Embracing positivity continues to be a struggle, however, I continue to try and that's what matters right?
Here’s to embracing: What Is. A friend actually recommended this one to me, but the more I think about it, the more fitting it becomes. I struggle with embracing what things are. I often want to alter or change the outcome or speed up the process (ex: wanting to be married and have kids already or feeling as if I should be in graduate school right this minute) and I fail to just accept and embrace what is; that I am a 24 year old woman working in the career field of my choice and finding out exactly who I am and what I want and then going out to get it. I'd say that I've become better at embracing what is... Don't get me wrong, I still want to alter/change/speed up the process for everything, but I've started to be a lot more spontaneous and accepting of things than I was in the past.
Here’s to embracing: The Present. I have a bad habit of focusing on the past (see # 4) or the future, and I rarely focus on the present. If I am not preoccupied with the mistakes, choices and decisions I have made in my past then I am preoccupied with where I am headed in the future. I am not saying there is anything wrong with reflecting on the past or looking toward the future, but I am saying that the amount of time I spend on doing it, is not acceptable. I need to embrace the present. I need to soak in the moments I have with my family and friends, take in all these memories and stop worrying about what will happen 2 years from now. That day will come and when it does I can focus on it. But for now, here’s to embracing the present. I continue to need to focus on the present. I've been doing a lot of mindfulness; focusing on where I am, but as the previous paragraph stated, I struggle with wanting to alter/change/speed things up and I need to continue working on this. It's so easy to get caught up in the past and the future, but how important the present is.
Reviewing this, I see that there has been stagnant on my part in some areas, but I also see that there has been progress. Huge progress, even if it's occurring slowly. That's what it's all about, right? Embracing the changes and making steps, even if they are baby steps.
2015 will be a continuation of embracing all these and more.
Stay tuned for my 2015 word of the year!
